Feeling Judged

Seems crazy I haven't posted in so long, and now this is my fourth post in a week! Anyway I was in homeopathy today and we had a practical working on case taking. This was fun because unlike health psych (where we have one person interviewing a standardized patient and everyone just watches), we all got a chance to interview each other. I definitely see the value in health psych, but this was great to get some more experience, and especially in a bit of a less threatening environment.

So while getting feedback on my turn as the doctor, my partner (who played the patient) mentioned that I made a good use of silence. Silence is an incredibly useful tool for a doctor as an interviewer, especially when it comes to mental/emotional things, because it provides patients with the time to think over what they've said and decide if they want to share more with you. This of course doesn't happen if the doctor goes through rapid fire questions and doesn't provide that silence (though of course rapid fire can be important when ruling out red flags for emergent conditions like a heart attack!). Anyway one of the things my partner mentioned was that she was empathizing with me and thinking that I felt like some of the silences lasted a really long time, but that for her it actually didn't feel that long.

I think this is really important to understand because it leads in to what I want to talk about, and that is the a feeling that you are being judged by others. This is something that I feel constantly and I'm sure many others do. You're hanging out in a group of people not saying anything, you're giving a presentation, whatever. You feel like other people and judging you, and as a result you get stuck in your head and don't feel so good. Basically the feeling I want to get across in this post is that in order to get out of this pattern, it can be helpful to be aware that in general, people aren't really judging you. They don't really care that much about the little things you think you are doing that may be embarrassing, because in reality, they are sitting there thinking the same things about themselves. People are incredibly self-conscious and other-focused, worried about what others think of them. As a result, you don't really need to worry about others, because they aren't so worried about you.

I understand of course that this is much easier said than done, and I know it is something that I am really going to start working on now and know it will be a struggle, but this again is of course where mindfulness really comes in. Be aware of your thoughts and feelings, try to understand where they come from, but ensure that there is no judgement. You will see that you can bring more confidence and a more relaxed disposition to your life.

- So if you're feeling too much in your head, what can you do? Push your feet into the ground a little bit and even try to grip the floor with your toes. This action reminds you that are not just in your head, you are in fact touching the ground, here, in this moment.